Dear Rhonda and Kim,

It is hard to believe that I am already close to finishing my first semester as a college student. I am truly proud of myself for having made it this far. I am the first person in my immediate family to be in college, with the great potential of graduating with a college degree. That is one thing that every member of my family is very supportive of. My decision to go to college has been filled with the support of all of my family members and I don’t think that I would be at this point right now, if I hadn’t been in their thoughts and prayers on a daily basis.

The few months that I have been at Spring Arbor have truly been amazing. I have made a core group of friends that I would die for. They are like family to me. I can picture these four girls being at my wedding sometime, probably a long time, into my future and knowing that I have the support of Elise, Sarah, Mary, and Alyssa between now and then excites me. I have also found myself in a dating relationship. That was not something that I came into college looking for, but I feel truly blessed to be in the relationship that I am in right now. I did not date much in high school and for the past two years I was really focused on God. It sucked that I was the one without a boyfriend, but I was focusing on something so much better than that. I am clearly a words person and found a saying that says, “Dance with God and He will let the perfect man cut in.” I feel like for the past two years I have really been dancing with God and now he is letting the perfect, well I think he’s pretty much perfect, man cut in.

I have loved playing intramural sports for Gainey West. It has been a blast. The only one that I did not participate in was kickball, but I helped Gainey West be the champions in sand volleyball and in soccer. The championship soccer game was probably the game that was the most fun and it was truly a great win. I hated playing the goalie that game, but it was my skills—I’m stroking my ego a bit here­—that allowed us to be the champions over Alpha and Delta. I have bonded with people through watching sports in both the Upper Deck and Gainey lounges. On Saturdays and Sundays it is not uncommon to see me in the Upper Deck sitting in a room full of guys watching football. I am pretty much always the only girl in the room. To me, it was not surprising, Megan and a bunch of guys watching sports. It is fun to be competitive with the guys. It reminds me of sitting at home with my brother watching some form of sports on one of our TVs.

I did not pursue the Pulse like I should have this semester. I feel like part of me just did not want to do it quite yet. I am still trying to get a handle on the whole being in college thing. With everything that has been going on with my family, my friends, my relationships, I just didn’t put my writing into the mix. I put my skills on the back burner to build relationships with others and focus on some of the more stressful things that have been going on with my family, especially the ones that have been happening more recently. I have found myself being a little bit more outgoing and instead of curling up in my bed with a book, I would go out and sit in the lounge with my computer and be around people that were watching movies, etc.

I am still afraid of failure, but I think that will always be a fear that I have. I don’t like to lose or fail at anything. At the beginning of the semester when I wrote my first letter I said that I was afraid of fitting in. I quickly realized that I don’t have to fit in. I discovered that college students aren’t as critical of others as high schoolers are. I have never felt the need to conform to any specific standard to fit in around campus and for that I am truly grateful.

So far, I have been able to hold a good GPA. With finals coming around I am very nervous, but that is expected. I haven’t had to really study for an exam in a long time, but I know what I have to focus on and my finals should be easy. The classes that I have taken this semester have mostly been general education classes, but I know that in the future I will be apart of classes that will stretch my intellect and build my faith.

I am currently still working on the booklist that I have made for myself. I also now have a movie list. I am going to become a pop culture resource. I hope that everything that I read and watch doesn’t become so intermingled that I cannot decipher one thing from the other. I will probably make a lot of references to things that people won’t understand, but that would be okay with me. Everyday I am improving my knowledge of the Bible. Right now I am doing a 90-Day Bible Challenge. I am, along with my boyfriend, going to read the Bible cover to cover in 90 days. It is something that has excited both of us and we are learning the Bible quite well. We continually struggle with the names, but the laughter they have brought has been worth it. We also have great discussions about verses and the things that confuse us. We are using each other as soundboards. It is probably one of the coolest things, growing spiritually with him.  I am still a procrastinator that is why I am writing this paper at four in the morning on the day that it is due. Either that or I am just unable to sleep sometimes and writing down my thoughts helps me sleep. My study habits have gotten better though and I am studying for quizzes and tests more often.

In my first semester in college, I have learned that I am a lot stronger than I thought I was. I have learned how important it is to rely on Christ and make Him the focus of my life then all of the other things will fall into place. I don’t have any worries when it is all in the hands of God. Recently there have been lots of things going on with my family that have been bothering me, but it is hard for me to deal with because while everyone is there struggling together I am here, an hour away, living my own life. It is always weird going home because I feel like I am vacationing in my own house. I have no idea what things are going on at home and I when I go home for Christmas break I have no idea what the plans are, I just wake up and someone tells me where to go and I show up there. I realized that I am truly living my own life here away from my family. It is really cool, but at the same time I am struggling knowing that my family has been having issues and that I could be at home helping my mom and brother through their issues. I know that all it takes is a phone call, but it still is hard for me when I can’t physically be there to give out hugs or sit and have a conversation with my brother about what is going on in his life. I realized that I needed to treasure the time that I have with anyone that has played a major impact in my life because they have helped form me into who I am today. The definition of Megan is still the same even though I have learned so much here at Spring Arbor. I know who I am and deep down I feel like that I am on the path that God has wanted me to be on since I was born. I am still unique. My relationship with others has changed me slightly. I am acting a little bit gigglier and girlier, but in essence I still want to go out and throw the football with the guys—even in this 17-degree weather. I think that at Spring Arbor I have learned that it is okay to grow and grow with the people that are around me. I believe that over the next four years I will continue to grow with God, my friends, my family and any other people that are important in my life. Spring Arbor has brought me growth and I predict that I will grow even more than I can even imagine.

God Bless,

Megan Filipowski