Relationships that are Changing, Absolutely.

I chose two relationships that really needed work. One was with my brother and the other is with my second roommate since I am living in a triple and get along way better with the other roommate. Both relationships were rocky coming into the school year and any improvement would be beneficial because some improvement is better than no improvement at all.

It was really hard to remember to listen to my brother and roommate. I often get caught up in what’s going on in my life and forget to listen. I don’t pay enough attention to what is being said I brush it off and I am able to grab out bits and pieces of what they say, but I never grasp the entire concept that they are trying to share with me. My mind wanders to a hundred different places while I talk with people. We talked about the good and bad habits of listening in small groups in class on 2/18/10 and one of the things that my group discussed was not interrupting. It’s hard for me to not interrupt because I think of things to say while I’m listening to someone talk to me and then I say them out loud to whoever I’m talking to. It shouldn’t be that way because I’m clearly not focusing on what they are saying because I’m focusing on what I’m going to say in response. This was a major improvement for me because I really focused on listening and was not focused on what I wanted to say. Once I stopped interrupting my brother and roommate I heard more and had better responses because I wasn’t planning them out in my head before they even finished their own thoughts. I realized how annoying it is that I interrupt people especially my brother and in order for our relationship to grow I have to spend more time listening and less time talking to him.

I wanted to spend more time with my roommate, but that failed. I was never in the room at the exact same time she was. There were a few times and one of those times we watched half of a movie and colored with crayons. We reminisced on our childhoods, but we weren’t telling each other information and spilling our guts out with each other. My roommate and I have sleep schedules. I am the night owl and she goes to bed earlier than I do so there really isn’t the opportunity to hang out and talk at night. We do our homework at different times in different places. Sometimes I do mine in my bed and we have bunked beds and sometimes I do it in the lounge or at the end of the hallway. We also don’t hang out with the same people so we aren’t hanging out during the day. I would try to be in the room and she wouldn’t be there. We talked in class about time management on 3/25/10 and how we use our time to our advantage or disadvantage. I apparently didn’t manage my time to my advantage and to the advantage of my relationship with my roommate.

If I could change one thing I would change how much effort I put into this project. I tried really hard to do all the suggestions that I came up with, but as I reflect on everything I realize now that I didn’t try hard enough. In order to make the changes needed to improve the relationships I wanted I had to put more effort in. I feel like if I put more effort in than I would have been able to spend more time with my roommate hanging out and doing whatever. Once a week when we would try to go out to dinner or do something didn’t always work and it didn’t work because I wasn’t putting 200% into this. I know that if I put even more effort into this I would have found that more of the challenges to myself would have been completed, but it gives me motivation to keep trying to improve these relationships while I’m at Spring Arbor over the next three years.

These relationships still have room for improvement. Even though I won’t be living with my second roommate again next year I can still make an attempt to be her friend. Over the summer when I go home and am around my brother 24 hours a day 7 days a week I can try to improve my relationship with him. I will be living with him again and every morning is a new opportunity to improve our relationship besides I think my mom would enjoy to have us getting along.