To any outsider Cedar Bend Farms is just that, a farm. To any Spring Arbor student Cedar Bend is not just a farm it is a farm that changes lives. As an incoming freshman the Core trip to Cedar Bend is the talk of campus. Days are counted until departure and peer advisors attempt to prepare students for what the first group considers the unknown. Cedar Bend brings growth in various ways to those that participate in the variety of activities throughout the weekend. Realizations occur and students come back improved versions of themselves.

Throughout the weekend I was pushed to my limits. By the end of the trip I was exhausted emotionally. My mind was trying to grasp the feelings that came from Sealed Orders. I had a burning desire to improve my relationships with others as well as improve who I am as a person. I wanted to dive head first into the Bible; I wanted to remember why I loved God and why I chose to become a Christian. Sitting on a log in the midst of one of God’s awesome creations, nature, I painfully reminisced about my family situation and how it got me to where I am today. The second Sealed Order was the one that affected me the most. I realized that I had to be the change. Others were not going to change for me; even though that is what I longed for the most, to have the people that I had difficulty loving change for me.

The first night at Cedar Bend after the trust walk while we lay in the grass looking up at the stars, the only thing that came to my mind was the song “How Great is Our God” by Chris Tomlin. I sang it to myself as I laid there and thought about all the things that God could do and had done for me. He led me on a path that brought me to Spring Arbor, even though it was not the easiest one. He blessed me with opportunities that I never thought I would have experienced if He had not been the number one priority in my life. Looking up at the stars that night, I realized that God was as constant as the stars in the sky. As I watched the clouds roll in and begin to cover up the stars it was like God was telling me, “I’m always there, but sometimes you can’t see me.”  Through every trial and tribulation God is always there, but sometimes I just can’t see Him.

The campfire during our time in the valley is metaphorical to God’s fire burning within us. Each of us felt God in a different way over the weekend, but God’s fire was beginning to burn in our hearts. As we worshipped around the flames of red and orange, with nothing but the sounds that God created, He was giving us a powerful message. Each person’s spiritual walk was different, just as the verses that we all shared were, but they all had an impact in our lives. Being able to worship in the purest environment that we can get nowadays with other Christians has something to be said. Sitting around a fire with sixteen other people, giving God their undivided attention, is inspiring on so many levels because it is easily forgotten that other Christians need to surround themselves with Christians that can keep the flame from going out.

Although initiatives were a time of laughter and joking around, they were also a time for strategy, bonding and growth. Throughout the three main initiatives that we did, balance the platform, walk across the cup of hot chocolate by jumping from marshmallow to marshmallow, and get from one tree to another walking on the wire, I realized the importance of relying on each other. Nothing could be accomplished if we did not think about the other people that we were working with. If someone failed, it was a time to reflect, rethink the plan and try again, hoping that it would work this time. Relying on each other is just as important as it is to rely on God. For the first group going to Cedar Bend, it really is the unknown and it is important to rely on God to remind us that everything is going to be okay and that we will enjoy ourselves. It was a time to grow together as a group and become closer friends.

When we are taken out of the normalcy of life and do something with no distractions, no electronics and no sense of time we get the opportunity to worship in the purest way. There is passion behind the words that we sing. I love being in that type of scenario. It is impossible to not be moved by the feeling that comes with being able to just give it up and let everything go to God. It is a very influential part about trips like Cedar Bend. Once every other aspect of life is taken away, the only thing that is left is to praise God for the things that we do have because if they were gone forever there would only be one thing that we would have left to live for and that is God.

Throughout the four days spent at Cedar Bend, I became closer to the people in Core, but I also valued some of the things that they had done for me. The one thing that I appreciated the most was how Cody treated me during the trust walk. I am the type of person that easily trusts people, but worries about if I am putting my trust in the right places. For this particular activity I decided I was going to roll with the punches and put my trust in Cody one hundred percent and it paid off; it was the best experience that I had during Cedar Bend. He was constantly making sure that I was okay and he would help me get through every single obstacle by saying, “Find my foot, it’s right there. I’m stepping over the log now.” Even though I felt like a third grader being told what to do, I really appreciated it, because I was not stumbling through the forest like most of the other people were. Afterwards, when we were walking towards the field he mentioned to a group of us that he did most of it with his eyes closed, it was dark and clearly you could not see anything, but I put my trust in someone who did it with his eyes closed. I was impressed by myself for being so trusting of him and not worrying about what the outcome may be because while my trust was in Cody, it was also in God, that He would take all my worries away.

One of the hardest parts about Cedar Bend was the killing of the chicken. I love to eat meat, but I did not really enjoy looking at the process; however, I know that it is not the same process that the store bought chicken I eat is put through. I appreciated all of the girls that were willing to step up to the plate and take charge because I was too uncomfortable doing something like that. I could not have put myself in Kim’s position and chop the head off a chicken, or be Mary and hold the chicken as it lost its life, or Bethany who willingly stuck her hand inside of the chicken to gut it. I also believe that it was helpful that there were others in the group that were struggling with the situation and together we just watched and hoped that we did not have to play a larger role than plucking a few feathers here or there.

Cedar Bend led to my own realizations and I came home an improved version of myself. I will forever treasure the growth that I experienced at Cedar Bend. I never thought that I would find myself at a college where I would take a four-day camping trip to bond with others, and grow in who I am in Christ. When Cedar Bend comes up in conversation with people that are not from Spring Arbor, they will be confused and question why this trip was so important to the students that go. To them it is a field of grass; to us it is a field of change.